Giving In To Defeat
by iilaiia
Summary: In the far distance future, peace reigns, Gondor prospers and Legolas sets sail with Gimli after losing all ties to Middle Earth. Angsty AU
1. Death

Giving In To Defeat  
  
Chapter 1 - Death  
  
He knew this pain. It was as familiar to him now as rainfall was in the forest. It loomed over everything they did together. It hovered, waiting to pounce in the background of every thought. It was coming. That dreaded day was coming and then would he really leave his friends behind? How could he leave them? Surely not in this state, in the wake of this terrible tragedy. Grief surged up in him again. He found himself missing Gimli but the dwarf was far off now, sent on a miserable journey to deliver this traumatic news. Even if he did sail west, what peace could he find? He looked once again at the somber face of his lifelong friend and felt the uneasiness swim back to him. Aragorn slept so quietly, seemingly peacefully.  
  
"Legolas?"  
  
The soft voice pulled him from his thoughts. How long had he been gazing off into the west?  
  
"Did you sleep well, Aragorn?"  
  
Aragorn didn't answer right away. Almost as if he hadn't realized that he HAD been sleeping at all. "Yes, I did not dream."  
  
The emptiness in his voice took Legolas by surprise. He had expected anger or grief but the total lack of emotion, of caring at all in his words were unbearable. The silence started to stretch on as Legolas struggled to think of something to fill it. His grief was over powering. He could not think and he was not helping. Faced with Aragorn's coldness, Legolas had no strength.  
  
It was in fact, Aragorn who broke their silence. "There is something you should know. Something you should hear from me now, my friend, before it is too late."  
  
Legolas jerked his head suddenly. Fear growing in the pit of his stomach. He could not stand to listen to the fierce indifference in his friend's tone but when Aragorn paused Legolas found that wondering was even worse.  
  
"Prey speak then. Why do you hesitate?"  
  
"I fear for you." Aragorn answered simply.  
  
Anger rose in Legolas swiftly and intensely. "Say what you will for if you care not about Arwen then you should not fear for me."  
  
The second he had said it he wanted to take it back. The look of cold detachment that had settled upon Aragorn's noble face fled and was immediately replaced by raw agony. His eyes filled with tears and he stood abruptly, turning his back on the elf. Shame flew through Legolas and he also stood. However before he could form any type of sentence, Aragorn's voice cut directly into his heart.  
  
"I have walked this earth with you for nearly one hundred years. Together we have seen more death, destruction and horrors than a whole army would see in a lifetime and yet I have never known true pain until last night."  
  
"Aragorn, please." Legolas could stand to hear the terror in his voice no longer. "Forgive my hasty words, I did not mean them."  
  
Aragorn responded without moving. "Yes you did. And you are right. You are always right. I act without thought to the others around me. I think only of myself."  
  
Legolas let anger fill him now, better that then the hollow grief he felt and heard also raging inside Aragorn. He spun the King around and forced himself to meet those haunted eyes. "If I am indeed always right then you will believe me now. You have never acted out of selfishness."  
  
"Legolas." Aragorn now tried to stop his friend. "Wait."  
  
"You try to carry the weight of the entire world and when it is too much for you, you feel as if you have failed. But you never give up." Legolas trailed off at the look of guilt that flashed through Aragorn's face. "You mustn't give up."  
  
"I'm sorry." His words were simple. Were it not for what Legolas saw and heard in his friend, he would have brushed off the apology as nothing. Legolas froze in place. He suddenly understood. The acceptance of Arwen's death so early and quickly, the request to meet with his brothers and to see Legolas alone. How confused Aragorn was when he awoke as if expected not to have.  
  
Oh no.  
  
"No. I will not allow it."  
  
Aragorn smiled, a cold pain-filled smile. "It is too late for any of this. It is done."  
  
Legolas grabbed Aragorn's shoulders trying to hold on to him as if his physical strength alone would undo what Aragorn had done. "You can not! Aragorn. Estel, please! You mustn't."  
  
"There is nothing you can do now Legolas. We're down to hours now."  
  
Legolas pushed him away violently. "How can you do this?"  
  
"It's what Arwen would have done for me."  
  
When faced with that certain truth Legolas fell into silence. Aragorn sat down on the cool, stone floor of the tower, leaning his aged back against the wall. Legolas followed his gaze to the nearby waving banners.  
  
"Gondor is safe. They will grow and prosper under my son and his sons and so on. There is no need of me to stay. The time of the fellowship has ended." Aragorn's eyes found Legolas'. "When Gimli returns I advise you both to sail west."  
  
Legolas shook his head in despair. "I can not leave you. I can not force Gimli to leave here."  
  
"I have given you no choice but to leave me. And as for Gimli, I think you may find him more agreeable to the task than you think."  
  
Legolas moved to stand closer to Aragorn. Closer to the friend he had loved forever and now was soon to lose. "See then, my friend. Once again, you think of everyone but yourself."  
  
Finally Aragorn smiled, and this time there was real joy buried deep within the pain. 


	2. Grief

Giving In To Defeat 

Chapter 2- Greif

Legolas stood gazing off into the far distance. The light clouds floated lazily through the sky above him but to his eyes they were great flocks of birds. The large gulls that frequented the ocean were never far from his thoughts now. If he froze in place, he could almost here their calls echoing across the water. He saw in the blue sky the reflection of the sea, calm and cool, eternal. It was time. Aragorn had been right all along. Legolas closed his eyes in grief. Just the thought of the name stabbed into him, as physical and damaging as metal. Aragorn. His friend. Gone now for all time and nothing he could do would bring him back. It was as unfathomable as it was deplorable.

Legolas opened his eyes again and took in the scene of the city below him. He stood in the high tower alone, waiting. The great realm of Gondor would continue in the wake of this tragedy mostly because of the efforts of young Eldarion, now King. He, like his father before him, was now forced to carry on in the place of his noble and loving parents. Orphaned and alone but for his sisters, Eldarion suffered silently avoiding Legolas and hiding behind the rules and laws of his people. He managed his kingdom, took control of his subjects and upheld the law just as Aragorn had done. There could be no fault in his ruling or in his commands. His strength and reasoning were unquestionable.

However, for all his leadership glory, Legolas knew that it was not the life Eldarion had planned for himself. It was simply the unfortunate turn of events that had forced him to this end. This was his hidden trauma and his horrible secret. For as much as the noble son of Aragorn loved the white city, the open woods and fields ever called to him. And such was the failing of the ranger and elven blood that raced through his veins. It ensured that while he would guard, lead and protect his people until the end of his days, that he would also feel the call of his wanderlust and eternally be unable to answer it.

The blond archer sighed deeply, broken from his thoughts a moment, as the silver trumpets rang out across the white walls signally the return of the riders. This was not a meeting he was looking forward to. He descended the stairs from the tower and walked the long streets to meet the caravan of horses that road at a breakneck pace through the city. He knew why they were rushing, he also knew that it was too late. Legolas stopped walking as the lead horseman saw him and turned the riders. He just wished that he didn't have to be the one to tell them. It was a cowards wish he knew, but in his misery he could not help the thought.

The elves dismounted in perfect unison, they're regal robes flowing out behind them with the wind. They raced to Legolas but stopped short just before him at the expression on his face.

Elladan's voice was clipped. "Take us to him Legolas."

The blond archer paused, no words were coming to him. He had to tell them, it should be from him but he couldn't seem to speak.

Elladan's eyes darkened. "Legolas, why do we delay?"

Legolas shook his head, there was no rush. "Elladan, I can't – "

Legolas stumbled back when Elrohir pushed him suddenly and he reacted with shock as Elladan's eyes filled with tears. Elrohir snarled, "Why are we just standing here!" His eyes were wide, fearful and imploring.

They already knew.

They had known and come anyway, and they didn't want to break down here in public.

Legolas found his voice. "This way." At a breakneck speed, they headed for the Kings Chambers, away from the crowds and into the darkness of truth.

Elrohir slammed the doors closed behind them in sync with his brother's collapse onto the ground. Elladan's body shook as he sobbed. His tears no longer able to be hidden, his grief unbearable and raw. Elrohir stood behind him, his hand on his shoulder, his eyes red. As Elladan cried as if the horrors of the world had befallen him, his brother stood frozen, his grip on his twin's shoulder rock solid.

Elladan's cries were tearing Legolas apart who watched the twin's despair with agony. They were perfect symmetry in all things physical, though in grief complete opposites. Elrohir was deathly calm, frightening while his brother's crying rocked his whole body so fiercely that he couldn't stand. While Legolas himself watched detached and alone. His grief ran so deep that breathing was an effort.

"Elrohir, Elladan." He swallowed hard when they both looked up and meet his eyes. "I'm so sorry." He shook his frustrated. That wasn't the right thing to say. "I'm so sorry." It was just all he could think of.

Elladan brushed the tears from his cheeks absently with an angry swipe and laughed. Elrohir half-smiled and said, "Apologizing for something that is in no way your fault… now that sounds familiar."

Elladan sniffed and added brokenly, "Now just who did you learn that from, I wonder?"

Legolas smiled lightly and closed his eyes. The pain swam in lazy circles through his heart. "That's not all he taught me." He didn't have to open his eyes to know the twins were watching him intently. "He taught me that nothing lasts. No one lives forever." He opened his vibrate blue eyes to meet sad grey ones. "Except in memory and in love."

Elrohir knelt beside Elladan and rested his head upon his head. "I miss him."

Legolas also knelt beside Elladan. And abruptly, Elladan embraced him. "I'm glad you were here with him, Legolas. That's the way it should be." Legolas felt the tight seal on his emotions breaking. His grief pressing out of him like a water behind a dam. His tears came suddenly and strongly and together the elves cried for their beloved Aragon, once Estel. Elrohir's eyes were filled with unshed tears voicing the question they all were thinking. "What will we do without him?"

And so in the dark room where Estel had become King, his brothers mourned his passing. All three of them.


End file.
